The following is the testimonial of Vynn. Vynn is a regular contributor to the Atheist Think Tank forums.

I was indoctrinated in the christian belief since I was 5 years old. This indoctrination continued throughout my life until i graduated high-school. (I lived on a christian commune until i was 11, then I attended a christian private school until I graduated.) At the age of 15 I had read through the bible several times. Since my mother worked at a large christian college I hung out with those college students quite a bit. At the age of 15, I knew much more about the bible than the students who were studying it to become preachers.

Somehow I still managed to get into plenty of trouble though. In high school and then in college i began to “hang with the wrong crowd”. I got addicted to several drugs and was an alcoholic at age 20. For a period of my life I was simply living to work, go to college, deal drugs, and drink. One evening i went to the church i used to attend. (The circumstances that surrounded this were nothing short of miraculous. It was as if 50 things went wrong / went right / had to happen just right in order for me to actually show up.)

I sat in the back row “fighting” the “word of god” as the preacher preached. But i knew that he was talking directly to me. When he gave the altar call i literally ran down the aisle to “recommit” my life to christ. That night i felt a change within me. I was very hungry for god and could not read the bible enough. It seemed alive and strong like never before. I felt the presence of god tangibly around me and with me. I felt alive and strong in an almost supernatural way.

I dumped my drugs that night and never even had a desire for them or alcohol again. In fact, when i thought of drugs or alcohol I became ill and filled with disgust. I lived in a constant state of prayer and sought god in every minute of my life. When I prayed for people they told me that they had never felt such “power” before when being prayed for. Some of them said it was like electricity was coursing through their body and said they knew a “change” had occurred within them.

As a musician I began playing in the churches I attended. Over the years I attended several different churches and in each one I was somehow elevated to be the “worship leader”.  It was some of the best musical times of my life. It was very fulfilling to be using my talent and ability to worship god in song. In the last church i attended Ii became the associate pastor and began to preach about 3 or 4 times a month. I also did much counseling and one-on-one work with church members and others outside the church. My whole life revolved around church and it slowly began to erode my family life.

I began to ask my pastor tough questions from the bible that did not make sense to me. The replies made even less sense. I began to question the concept of “hell” because of the “loving” nature of god. I researched it more and more and found out that the bible does not speak of an eternal torture for the unsaved. I wondered what else the church had been teaching that was “wrong” and not the right thing to teach.

When i quit my church and left the associate pastor position the church by in large, treated me like an outcast. Some of what they were saying got back to me and i couldn’t believe it. My life began to get better and better without church and without god. I was still ‘hungry’ for god, but i noticed that that hunger was much better satiated by spending time with my family, the arts, and philosophical discussion than going to a church where me and my wife went one way to sit and listen to somebody talk, and my kids went another way to do the same.

We began to spend more time as a family together. Sometimes we would have a bible study but it didn’t matter, it was the time together that was important. I realized that it was not god and the bible that satisfied us, but the presence of “god” in each other that satisfied us. Then as i studied the inconsistencies in the bible more and more, I began to wonder how “perfect” it could be.

I began to doubt that the word of god was perfect. And if the word of god was not perfect, how could i take seriously it’s claims. I developed good friendships on a website where for the first time my “preciously held” views were directly challenged in a fair way. Although it was a traumatic experience, (I was very indoctrinated, after all), it was good. I thought, my faith should be strong enough to meet these challenges and overcome them. But it wasn’t.

Why do i think that christianity and the bible is wrong? For many reasons, but primarily because i don’t need it. It isn’t necessary for any reason. My life is better and more simple without it. I now don’t have to worry about “defending” the weird parts of the bible. I’m not concerned with “worshiping” god enough or doing the “right” thing so that god is happy. I’m at peace with myself and figure that if god is out there, he is happy with me “worshiping” him by simply living a good life and being a good husband and father.

And if he’s not happy with that, well, why does he insist on me following the hearsay of hearsay of hearsay that goes back two thousand years? Why not give me some direct proof?

If I had been born in a different part of the world and indoctrinated in that religion, I imagine I would have had a similar experience in giving up that particular faith. If there is a god, i think he would rather us worship him by being “good” to our families, those around us, and all mankind. I say, let’s not struggle and worry about which religion is right, or if any of them are, and seek to do the right things for all the people of the world. Surely that is time and money better spent for a better purpose.

The bible is too full of contradictions to be true. Life is too wonderful and amazing to be spent worrying about the fact that you were lucky enough to be born in a part of the world where the “one true” religion is practiced and so you “learned” to be a part of it.

Religion divides people. That is what it does, period. Religious belief hurts our species because it causes many problems than it solves. We’ve got a lot we need to overcome as a species. Adding an element of religious “right without fact” into the mix is ridiculous. It’s unneeded. It’s like adding conflict to conflict. It’s like having a marriage where one partner is addicted to gambling or hard drugs. It only causes more pain and division in a situation that “needs effort to make work” even in the good times. As a species, we are better than this. It’s time to move on. Let’s go forward, not back.