Here is a translation from French of an excerpt of a humorous text by François Cavanna, a french atheist writer.

“A Revised Version of Genesis”

1.At the beginning, God created the sky and the earth.
2.No.
3.It’s not like that.
4.Let’s restart from the beginning

1.At the beginning, there was God
2.And nothing else.
3.There could not be anything else as for something to exist, God should have created it.
4.However God have not created anything yet, given it was only the beginning.
5.To create something, not only one should be God
6.but one should know one is God.
7.However, God didn’t know he was God
8.given He was alone.
9.To know one is God, it takes two people.
10.One who is God and another one who says “My God”.
11.Because one cannot be God as such. One can only be the God of someone else
12.However God was alone.
13.This way, God was the God of no one else.
14.I hope you understand everything
15.Otherwise restart and read very slowly
16.It could have taken ages.
17.It happened exactly like that.
18.It lasted a long, long, long time.
19.So long that one should have been God to endure all that.
20.No other beast in the world could have stand it.

1.At the beginning, there was no sky and no earth.
2.There was not even the idea of a sky nor the idea of an earth in God’s mind.
3.There could be only God and what God had created.
4.However God did not even created the idea of a sky nor the idea of an earth yet.
5.He even had not yet created the idea of an idea.
6.He even had not yet created the idea of creating something. One should have been a moment for that, no ?
7.Why God would have created something ? He didn’t need that. God has no need.
8.As God is God.
9.And for God to have a need, He must first create the need.
10.What He is able to do, of course.
11.As God is God.
12.However if God creates the need, He stops to be God.
13.As a God who has a need is not God.
14.God knew that, as he is the supreme intelligence.
15.He knew all that, but what is the use of being God if one cannot do anything ?
16.So He decided to take the risk.
17.And He did well.
18.Because nothing of all this has never been a problem for anybody.
19.Except for the unbelievers and the smart asses, but those ones count for nothing.

So, here is what happened :
1.At the beginning, God created the contradiction.
2.It was a good idea.
3.Now, it can start.
4.It started.